So today I decided I was a man magnet and bam it’s working! So far I have had builders staring and commenting as I passed. My interview with a panel of 3 men went amazing, despite the fact I didn’t realise I needed a pitch for it until 15 minutes before and I literally winged the entire thing. Now in Pret having a coffee the barista has been super sweet coming to my table with napkins telling me about the free books they have and practically diving in to my pants. Oh yes my sex is on fire! Tomorrow I meet lucky number 3 , the man of my dreams!

To conclude on today I’m now watching the second Bridget Jones movie and yes I did sit in and watch the first last week but I’m reflecting on the fact that I had a fucking amazing single life so when I’m chained to a sink making baby bottles or bonding with a breast pump I’ll have a past to loop back and smile at! I’ve met all my Daniel Clever’s tomorrow is meet Mark Darcy Day!

So I slept with Scot, despite having a complete freak out before I met him. I only arranged to meet him as I was being far to keen on Tinder boy Will and thought by getting under another man I would be back to being my usual cool, calm, unbothered by  man self! Of course this backfired!

Before meeting Scot I had the ‘pleasure’ of a phone call from another Tinder Boy Jason, who we had exchanged a bit of banter with Mae West quotes and he wanted to call me. He phoned me and being a person who can talk to the wall he was probably amazed by my excellent telephone communication skills and decided to tell me about being an improvised piano player. Then without warning, he started to play the piano down the phone. I FUCKING hate pianos! this is as a result of childhood torture. My younger sister would practice the piano every morning before school while my mother screamed at me to hurry up. This went on every morning for 16 million years!  I restrained myself, actually the joy of a good old fashioned telephone conversation is you can sit in the room and pull faces and they can’t see you, screw Skype, I was having a screwed up, face making, eye rolling face off with myself while all the time being sweet and polite. Anyway I got off the phone now he’s sending me What’s Apps asking about my life and shit and I’ve no interest. He seems a bit desperate!

Back to Scott we met up we chatted and we get on really well and he listens to me, unlike Charlie who was just engineering his hands in to my knickers or bra all the time. I got drunk, I’ve been drunk every night this week. No I don’t have a drink problem, I stayed in all weekend so I have to keep my alcohol levels balanced. We came back to mine he kept pointing out how drunk I was and was slurring my words. He may have been teasing but it was bloody annoying, we had sex and it was okay. In my drunkenness I kept patting his head like he was a puppy, he pointed out the head rubbing and I stopped but it annoyed me more, it wasn’t like he was being amazing in bed, glass houses, stones etc. I also was contemplating a career in porn in the midst of it, I was so convinced by my own performance of pretending it was that good. I didn’t fake an orgasm, I just was rather unfocused throughout. Anyway I blame Will if he hadn’t been so damn good in bed then I wouldn’t have had to compare Scott and that is not fair!

So Scott left the next morning I couldn’t get rid of him quick enough, that’s why I way prefer staying in men’s houses I can leave when I want, none of this being accommodating to someone! I really sound like a heartless bitch but to be honest I am so tired of searching, I am ready for just one man in my life for the rest of it.

Men always come in threes so what’s the bets I meet up with the last one on Saturday?

So here’s the thing and why I stopped having no strings attached sex (aside from to many lame lays) it’s that stupid attachment thing where you sleep with someone you don’t think you are that attracted to and they end up being fucking amazing in bed! You think you can still walk away but you get some kind of oxytocin addiction to them and become an overnight junkie!!! I met “Will” on Tinder I had two dates lined up the other week and he was date 1, I thought he would be a practice date, only he was witty and charming and when he grabbed me and wore the face off me on the escalators of Oxford Street tube I thought “hello, you are definitely hot in the sack.” Tinder date 2 never went ahead and Will was begging me to meet him that night, I didn’t, it was to hot and sweaty to get on a tube and go south of the river. We met up on Saturday night instead and went to a pub that was to loud, followed by another that was to quiet and we sat playing Jenga and he did lines of coke. We then left to go to another bar but before I knew it, the bar was his place and we were playing Monopoly and coke. He was one of those guys who could do the 2 finger trick and before you know it your braless and powerless to his arms! Anyway we slept together and it was amazing! Finally someone who can keep up with me and not just in the bedroom, Wednesday was round 2, followed by whispers of “you’re amazing” in my ear during the night. Then he had to cancel our unconfirmed date on Friday, followed by a “maybe’ lunch on Sunday and he has yet to reply to my What’s App from two days ago. Damn him!!!

Anyway to undo all this I’m meeting the Scabby Scot tomorrow, I’m wondering if I get some oxytocin with him, will I undo that from Will? I reckon the more men smell other men off you the more they will want you.