I’m a great believer in “The Law of Attraction” but before I started believing it, I was obviously practising it, I’d laugh at 17 when people would tell me I was like Bridget Jones as I lounged around in my red penguin pyjamas smoking, longing for a boyfriend! Now in my early 30’s I’m bloody well her, minus the nice apartment in Borough Market, instead i’m flat sharing in a do upper in East London. In my 20’s I watched “Sex and the City” and longed to be like Samantha and went around sleeping with whoever I fancied, but now one night stands bore me, what was once fun and exciting in your 20’s is now bloody disappointing. It’s not that I feel sleazy after them, but so many men are useless in bed and I really can’t be arsed letting some guy get the benefit of my body while I lie there frustratingly crying without tears.

What I’m saying is I know how I got here believe me I’m embarassed when another person flashes her engagement ring and I’m like “OMG it’s amazing” and they’re like “so any men?” what do I reply with? “emm..some guy from Tinder keeps sending me pictures of his giant cock.”

Aside from trying to emulate Samantha in my 20’s I also had a fucked up sleeping and loving thing going with an alcoholic ex, which was beyond stupid! But I also spent my 20’s going out and getting drunk and fucked up with an awesome group of friends. But recently I’ve noticed while I was busy making all these great female friendships and some male one’s too, those people were focusing on relationships and are now all off getting married and single me is sitting there all alone! Yes those friend’s will say they love you and how amazing you are and how they can’t believe you are single but at the end of the day their number one is not you, it’s the dude they married and more fool you for putting such an effort in to friendships because that’s not giving anything back other than a kick in the face! Okay that’s a bit dramatic, but you do not need as many friend’s as you busily went about collecting in your 20’s, focus on a core few, some acquaintances and get a bloody boyfriend, as Jessie, Janet and Jane won’t be keeping you warm on those long cold nights or making you sweat in the warm ones!